so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
