So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
