how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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