It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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