i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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