Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
