I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
