We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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