I think im going to throw up on grandma
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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