if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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