Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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