I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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