You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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