physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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