Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
