haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
