woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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