One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Let's get the cat blown out
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
