And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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