is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
