we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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