gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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