Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize