We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
cat food counts as protein by the way
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Randomize
