what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
