What a fucking waste of an outfit
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
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