Me. At least after what I've been through.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
