pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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