It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
