so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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