Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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