dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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