McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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