I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
