Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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