i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
