So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
