I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
