In the future we'll all be gay
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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