There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Text me some of your sweat
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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