You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
