the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm sobbing to NWA
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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