can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The adults are the big ones right?
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