ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
