Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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