i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i will never coherently bang her
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
