Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
