He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
