mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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