what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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