my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
