Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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