can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize