so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
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I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
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You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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