I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
