I understand Curling. That high.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
