Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize