they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
