I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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