in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
