yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
