If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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