Whod you bang
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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