There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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