Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize