The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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